another blog post. let’s get cracking chaps.
work stuff!!!
new job has been good! it’s at a diy electronics store. or more aptly, it’s like a more nerdy jb hi fi (radioshack for all the americans that shall hypothetically tune in when i release a song that blows up on tiktok). it’s been odd. i feel like most of the jobs i’ve taken up until now haven’t been a good fit for my brain. i mostly worked in the events industry and trades before this, both industries that have minimal training and very unfriendly for beginners (or atleast, the companies i worked for were.) i guess having a job where i feel competent has made me reflect on just how much i actually despised my previous jobs.
the events industry is a very active job that has inconsistent hours, minimal direction, quick turnover times and has a skill divide akin to moses parting the red sea, if that red sea was in fact the pacific ocean. i just found myself standing around a lot, knowing what was happening on a technical level, but not the workflow or order of operations. i was having panic attacks each shift on how little i was actually doing and feeling out of the loop. ticketing and concierging was fun though, but i mostly did the audiovisual shit.
my last job was more installations. speakers, projectors, receivers, grappling daily with microsofts monopoly on video conferencing gear (no seriously it’s actually kinda fucked up). i despised it. met a cool bro there (shoutout kargo ent), but fuck everything else was awful. i was basically situated in a basement all day doing software updates and tagging gear. awful for one’s mental health. the few times i did go on site, i was given the most menial jobs. they offered me multiple variations of roles in the business to take on, and i approached it with gumption, only to never hear about it again. i absolutely fucking hated that job. immeasurably draining.
but, more positively, the current work environment is great. my manager is a g, everyone else is some variation of queer or autistic (usually both!!!!!!), and it’s honestly pretty cruisy. reminds me a lot of an interview yung lean did recently claiming:
that said i still have burning creative ambitions, but we’ll get to that in a sec.
tech stuff!!
my friend gilbert graciously gifted me an old mac mini from 2011. they said it didn’t work, so i took it upon myself to refurbish it. i’ve done some laptop repairs myself, always found it fun, so i thought it would make a neat project, plus free mac mini if it worked so idk. opening it up i found the hard drive and ram missing, and the sata port rattling loose below the logic board. after taking off many screws and using some hex keys in lieu of the logic board tool that was suggested for such a teardown, i was able to put everything back in place, slot in a 1tb hdd i had lying around, and an 8gb ddr3l stick i got for $10 from a local recycler. needed to replace the psu though, so that’s in the mail for another $25.
the whole ordeal reminded me of one of the last times i went a-tinkering in a clamshell form factor pc. the person i was seeing at the time had a surface pro that wouldn’t charge. i got the charging port replaced, at which point it would boot, but not retain charge, suggesting a new battery was needed. i’ve been thinking about that period of my life a lot recently. maybe it was listening to the soundtrack to eternal sunshine (of which they recommended to me the eponymous film years prior), maybe it was the fact we’ve got back into some semblance of communication recently. i have no idea, honest. we caught up recently for the first time in the 3 years since. it was nice. a lot of uncertainty and mixed feelings, but nice.
i also have an ipad mini from like 2019 given to me from a former workmate. has some mdm from the raa of all people. that’s been harder to crack, and i’ve shelved it for the minute, but i’d be keen to give it another crack soon, i got an idea of how to do a full reset on that bitch. my soul yearns for angry birds.
a bane of my existence is my lack of musical output, despite the many, many demos on my drive. i originally wanted to get on ritalin before i jumped hitting the studio, but i feel like i should get the jump on that now. expect…. something. not too sure what at the minute.
CRASH BOOM
oh fuck it’s the lightening round!! fuuuUUUU-
ah! ah! ah! new earphones! real expensive! technics! silver! good good yes yes! old ones broke! boo! make me feel so digicore y2k industrial audiophile fuckhead!! yipee!!
BANG
saw a house show with friends! got a burrito pie half way through with wok! wore completely the wrong outfit and got a lift back with the homie jakson flips! aka malcom turntable! aka one third of crunchy milk! aka one half of barts nightmare! it’s fun to wear a tie and get litty off toki and jungle juiaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
FLASH
been on that good kush and alcohol!! want to bake more!!! been reading in the park for hours!!! smoking darts on an overpass with the trains going below!! not volunteering anymore!!! tired of the same repetitive conversations around politics i am subjected to on a daily basis with no educational value!!! oh! OH GOD!!!!!!!
fading rumbling
man. zeus. what a guy. what a little freak. aim better next time you fucking nerd. i’m just trynna get geeked and you bitching my vibe out. ah well it’s over. i’m calming down. apologies. ah, speaking of calming down-
i'm calming down now :DDDD
in my last post i made a point of how reintroducing myself to the world has been stressful. that’s largely subsided. drama has been placated. these days i’m more trying to enjoy my own company (while still obviously seeing my friends), which has actually made socialising a lot easier. i feel more comfortable in my skin, which allows me to make others more comfortable in turn. just doing the shit i enjoy man. apologies if anything i wrote last post was off putting or rang some alarm bells. no, i'm quite enjoying just living a normal life for the minute.
consooming
i got a free ticket to a john waters double of polyester and female trouble. i think i hated it? i was happy to see queer media. or atleast, queer people given the centre stage. the cinematography was interesting and i appreciate a filmmaker showing respect to their hometown (in this case, baltimore), polyester was funny????? but fuck man. i hated everything else. it’s just not my thing. yelling. so much fucking yelling. cheap gross-out humor. a cacophony of unpleasantness with no hold up. i understand why a person would like that, but unfortunately it wasn’t for me. a friend who i’ve had a prolonged chat to like twice in my life walked away and told another friend:
“i bet nick would give that a one star”
and.. well? let’s just say -
honestly a commendation of their intuition more than anything, but also a myopic self-absorbed pat on the back that apparently i leave such a strong impression of character that a person who i’ve spent maybe 20 minutes with could make such an assumption. but also astounded in their clairvoyance nonetheless, and uncertainty if it’s a mark of my simple nature that such proclivities could be deduced so quickly.
son of the white mare my love. holy fucking shit. beautiful. my 19 year old self would ejaculate all over this masterpiece. mid-twenties me was just close, but no cigar (another phallic object prone to expulsion). too much to gush about, so here's my lettrboxd review
aside from that, as mentioned, i had an amazing waffle with the moviejuice heads (save one mr tune) as well as an assortment of old friends and a new one (who i hope to see again very soon!) over a late coffee in a french drinkery. coffee was excellent. was an excellent opportunity to pick away at the brains of my comrades, gaining small glimpses of the art they admire and that which emotionally resonated with them: in other words, they themselves. truly i am blessed by gods most benevolent to have such esteemed individuals in my life at the capacity that i do. also yeah, shoutout bianca who showed great initiative and approached me and my dearest friend wok to say hi and introduce themselves, only knowing me through my penchant for formal wear to a club we both go to. a delightful new addition to the tapestry of my life woven together by the friends i have. would love to see them again in their scroggy glory (an inside joke, certified macadamia and sultana enjoyers only). fuck yeah, cunt.
i saw a minecraft movie with many friends a few weeks ago. it was… interesting. ironically it is the greatest film of our lifetime. unironically it was mildly enjoyable, obviously had some growing pains as a kids film with source material difficult to adapt to. had some jokes that were actually the funniest shit, followed by an onslaught of one-liners that made my depression metre gain points upon points. it doesn't know how to communicate any sincere emotion with any consistency, despite many opportunities to do so, only for potential cowardice and lowest-common denominator pandering to get in the way. honestly, spark one, hit the boof, you shall be in for the greatest cultural experience of your life. any other circumstance? you should probably claim that time on your taxes or something for the faint hope of compensation.
i’ve recently been rediscovering my indie phase. the wombats. macabees. two door cinema club. the other end. cape club. mountains of the moon. bombay bicycle club. in my teens i discovered new music purely through subscribing to a handful of music channels on youtube and checking in daily. it’s weirdly nostalgic. wearing hoodies. dreaming of portland or seattle or london or some locale with a recognised music scene. being 15. sigh. state lines by novo amor specifically caresses long forgotten recesses of my soul as deep as the mariana trench.
i recently stumbled onto a virtual band, lost souls. it's kinda a combination of metalcore and nerdcore, not that i care much for the nerdcore side. my greatest exposure to any form of metal would be royal blood (who i've been told many times isn't metal), but fuck there's something about this. it absolutely rips. i've taken it upon myself to expand my cultural palette into metal, so honestly metalcore has entered the function. specifically i've been obsessed with my curse by killswitch engage which i remember from sleeping dogs. it has to be chemically engineered to fit my brain, unparalleled yearning coupled with rage. gimme recs. idk.
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and just like that, i'm done for the minute. see you all, dear friends. thak you for coming with me on this trip